“Tolerance in the beginning becomes approval in the end. You get what you tolerate.” – Dan Rockwell, American Businessman
This morning it was the fourth time in so many weeks that Zaur showed up late. You failed to address him the first time, because you didn’t witness it firsthand. The second time you had a really busy day and dealing with Zaur wasn’t a priority. The next day it seemed a little after the fact to deal with it. The third time you felt bad to do it because Tom handed in a great project the previous day. Now it has happened a fourth time. You know you need to talk to Zaur, but you feel awkward. After all, it was okay for him to come late three times. Why is it wrong the fourth time?
By tolerating unacceptable behavior you become an enabler. Allowing the behavior to continue without dealing with it is a contributing factor to its development. Unacceptable behavior will flourish if it isn’t resisted or if the person isn’t at least made aware that it’s not acceptable.
If you don’t deal with the behavior (and also with yourself) there comes a point where your tolerance becomes approval. “It’s not that big a deal”, you’ll tell yourself. “The drama and energy isn’t worth it”, may be another excuse. Or maybe you feel that the person has many good qualities and addressing the bad behavior will make you look petty.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY: If you don’t want to make work of bad behavior while it’s small, you’ll have to deal with it when it’s big. Remember though, that it’s much more difficult to train a big elephant than a small one.
You get what you tolerate…so if you don’t want big bad behaviors, don’t tolerate small ones.
Have you ever tolerated bad behavior from someone that you know in retrospect you should have dealt with it earlier? Please share some of your experiences with us.